Wrin Chikaya (wrin) wrote,
Wrin Chikaya

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a lot of thinking has gone into this

new rules for me.

1. Stop taking yourself so damn seriously.
2. Nobody hates you just because of one thing you say.
3. Even if they do, who gives a shit.
4. Quit feeling bad about stupid shit. It makes you feel bad. Notice a pattern?
5. Love the boy more wholeheartedly.
6. Listen without fear.
7. Love yourself.
8. Be more gentle.
9. Don't beat yourself up.
10. Encourage friends to admonish me for breaking any of these rules.
11. Things will be just fine. Worrying that they will not be just fine only makes things less just fine.
12. Sushi is a snack that should be enjoyed slowly, and quietly, with much savouring and thinking.
13. Being less nervous will make you more articulate, which will make you less nervous.
14. Believe Brad.
15. Don't believe your mom. Believe your parents when they're telling you they love you, and that they're proud of you, and that you're a good person and a great daughter. Do not believe what comes with screaming and internal inconsistency, or what is accompanied by a threat to kick you out of the house.
16. Complaining is counterproductive, also; bad conversation filler. Being proactive is cool.
17. Relax. You can think when you're relaxed. Then you don't get tense because you can't think.
18. If it is distressing you, and only you, it is probably not important enough to be distressed about. Quit it.
19. Compliment people more. You think it; quit being afraid of criticism and say it already. It makes people happy, you're genuine... that's what you want, isn't it?
20. You are like this not because you are a bad person or a stupid person or any other bullshit reason you can come up with this; you are like this because you have convinced yourself it was a good idea. No, this doesn't make you stupid either. Convince yourself it's not a good idea. It will become more unattractive, and you will stop doing it; much like you stopped worrying so much when Brad forgets to phone you.
21. Be more vocal in what you appreciate, what you like, when somebody is doing a good job, etcetera. Also please tell people if they're doing something wrong. Learn to do this with grace and gentleness and you'll be a valued teacher.
22. Learn to be more aware of your moods and learn how to better control them and vocalize why you may be in that mood at the time. Realize that sometimes outside things make you pull into a shell, and try very hard to get out of that shell, because it's frustrating to people around you who want you to be happy and feel free but who also don't want to hurt you by dragging you out of your safe place.
23. Meditate more.
24. Find a safe place. Keep it safe.
25. Learn to better appreciate the nice things that people do for you or say to you. Thank them.
26. Do more secret-favors.
27. Get more sleep.
28. Don't be so damn serious all the damn time. Yes, especially with Brad.
29. Sing more.
30. Touch people more.
31. You are a realistic person. Put it into practice.

I have a lot of bad-habit patterns.
I will add to this later, as I figure out more.

I find Lara frustrating. She is a lot like me. I can easily see how my self-deprecation and lack of confidence is tiresome. I will change.

I find my mother frustrating. I can easily see how my constant complaining and telegraphing of my bad mood is tiresome. I will change.

The girl sitting across from me has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

I'm having a lot of fun in my program, and a lot of fun with my friends. The semester is almost over. I am almost on practicum. One-more-month one-more-month.
Tags: depression, drama, happiness, health
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