Wrin Chikaya (wrin) wrote,
Wrin Chikaya

so sick of the emo bullshit

I'm getting sick of people. Maybe it's the going-away. There's some people I won't be sad to leave. The ones who like to wallow in their self-pity or who are instruments of their own destruction. The ones who are incapable of success because they won't push the big button labelled "effort". The people who won't take a risk to save their lives. The people who do a month's worth of snooze-worthy work and with no experience parade around as if they're suddenly heroes, thereby shitting on the images of true heroes everywhere.

People who don't know me who think, besides all evidence, that they do. I wonder if they want to be my friends, or if they just want to somehow touch my successes, to be witness to the greater things I participate in. I hate barnacles. I worked hard for my own success, against a lot of adversity, and it nauseates me when somebody tries to touch on this great thing I have, to take a part of it away from me, so they can keep it for themselves. My success is not yours to take! Why am I too nice to tell people what I really think of them? Right, because it isn't worth the effort thath a dramatic blowup would cause.

I'm going to take this opportunity when moving away to disappear from a few places, to disassociate myself from people who have nothing in common with me but who want to cling to my shirttails because they think I'm cool or Moko's cool or that we could in some way benefit them. I've had enough friends over the last year alone who were friends only because they could get something out of me. I'm going to be living in a fishbowl, under the microscope of a Force the likes of which I have only just begun to understand. I have to reorganize my life; I am flying under the radar. If you don't pick me up, it's because I don't want you to.

If this hurts your feelings, I'm not sorry. It's just something I had to do.
Tags: friendships
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