I can not be bothered to form any of this into coherent sentences.
Car repairs. AUGH
Miss him. And how he can't tell me everything because how do you tell a person everything? And I'm thinking about how it's horrible and he lives each day in some amount of pain and it makes me all ... twisty. Some feeling I want to describe by pounding the keyboard repeatedly to produce gibberish.
The sunset clause re: my 2^o and my feelings about effectively losing something I've worked so hard at ... and the worst part is it's one of those THINGS where NOBODY will understand
Schemes so grand I can't tell anyone about them but OH MAN THEY'LL BE SO EPIC
Planning the most expensive event of my life aside from my funeral
I suck at history and trying to stuff knowledge into my head directly out of a textbook doesn't go so good. This is harder than I thought it would be.
Let's just repeat that once more: This is harder than I thought it would be.
I'm avoiding everybody who reminds me of him. This includes all of my friends whose first question is "HOW'S HE DOING???" The reason I'm not answering that question on AIM? Because I don't fucking want to talk about it for the 46,239th time in the last 3 weeks. There's 21 more to go, so by my calculations, I will be asked another 971,019 times how horrible it is to have my husband gone.